SEAN CODY REVIEW 2½★→Oddball Matchup of Chris & Kurt is 38 Minutes of Porn Gone Wrong
Sunday bisexual lap dancer Chris (above left) returns just a few days later with the very tall, versatile Kurt (right) tonight on Sean Cody.As you will see below, I am mighty nervous about this one. However, I will note the scene just went up on Cody and it’s a whopping 38 minutes long!Level of Enthusiasm: I have none. Dread? Plenty of that.
Scene Expectations: Low, low low. An odd physical match gets us off on the wrong foot here, and by “foot”, I refer to how much taller Kurt is than Chris. This might be ok if Kurt were topping, but this is a flip-fuck. Personality-wise, I have no idea. Kurt did fine in his flip-fuck with Deacon, but faltered a bit with Blake . If you read my review of Chris’s solo on Sunday, you know where I stand on him. And it’s not positive.
Beyond that, though, notice the subtle cues Cody gives us here. There is not a single pic in this bunch of the two looking at the camera in closeup. In fact, there is only one of them looking at the camera at all (top photo above) and it’s from a distance. The two closeup shots of them together are in profile, and in one their backs are completely to the camera! The trailer also features no closeup shots of them chatting.
What does that tell you?
Expectations Met?: Not even.
This guy was very intimidating, says Chris about the toned, tall Kurt. “Long-legs, hairy body, a ton of my fetishes, big dick, nice pecs, great smile. Everything I’m looking for from a partner in crime.” Kurt stares at Chris adoringly as the muscular, dark-haired cutie lists off Kurt’s best attributes, before countering that Chris is “absolutely adorable. He’s definitely really attractive, he’s got really good abs” and earnestly adding, “he’s really sweet, too, actually.” The pair have clearly bonded over their day of working out and watching the surfers together, both of them smiling and eagerly feeling each other’s bodies as they share a deep kiss.
In My Words:A sofa interview is generally goofy and overlaid with beach video (above) and a shaving bit in the hotel room before moving to the White Chair Room, brief kissing and Chris on his knees:Again, though, the weird insistence on wide shots is quite evident. In fact, this is about as wide a shot as is physically possible here:When we do get a closeup, it’s a bit of a mess, as Kurt goes from sucking Chris’s non-hard penis to fucking him, with the camera (and its shadows) trying to capture the penetration. But Kurt is too fast and too oblivious to what the camera is seeing so he just plunges in. The result is . . . not good:A reverse cowboy ride ads bad focus to the list of sins:Pretty much everything is terrible here: the camera’s movement, the coloring, the guys’ performances and the editing. A short round of oral is a bright spot . . . . . . before Camera Guy figures out that he can, in fact, move the guys further away from the camera . . . An over-the-shoulder shot is an improvement until Kurt starts fucking too fast for the camera to keep up. No one stops him or slows him down, because the goal here is a cumshot. Mind you, it’s a sterling one:The guys then stand up. It looks like Chris shoots a huge load (no surprise there) but again, we mostly get this crazy long-distance view:No. A thousand times: No!
We get a crazy seven minute long exchange of oral before Chris finally penetrates Kurt. Then just to fuck with us, the crew gives us a superbly lit and nicely filmed view of Chris’s first initial penetration:But once we pull back, the absurdity of such a short guy trying to fuck such a tall one becomes painfully obvious, especially after a flip to missionary:Our Editor tries to minimize it by giving us a lot of isolated headshots of each guy, but that old dog won’t hunt. Then Chris adopts Kurt’s method of fucking, i.e., going too fast for the camera to pick up the motion properly. Once again, though, the goal is to get this thing over with, not give you something good to watch, as Chris fucks Kurt hard enough to make him cum.A good time later, Chris belts one out. It’s a high-flying one that Kurt manages to partially get in his mouth:Nicely, it just keeps going.
Then abruptly, it’s over, as we fade to the Behind-the-Scenes, which just demonstrates that the group delusion was real: Everyone thought this was a fantastic scene.